Actively Still: Not Settling

Week 5

Patience is something humans in general tend to struggle with, but when it comes to waiting on God? Oh boy, talk about suffering! Waiting has a stagnant connotation, so the dangers of settling encroach on us more easily.

Waiting on God may seem like waiting for grass to grow in a desert sometimes…okay most of the time…especially when it comes to waiting for your future spouse. For those of us who feel like or know we are ready for marriage (or even for a romantic relationship, can I get an amen?) we can often get it into our heads that God has forgotten us. This is where things can get shaky, and I’m not going to tell you how to speed up this process or ensure you never have to wait long for a response from God again. God isn’t a vending machine where you put in the right coins and get whatever you want. Instead, I hope to share with you a way to healthily endure those times of perilous waiting without giving up and settling.

First, we have to break this concept that waiting means doing NOTHING. Waiting should not be a passive verb as we so often see it, it is ACTIVE. Regarding relationships, if you’re waiting around for a man…you’re gonna get bored. Once you get bored, you run the risk of latching onto someone who isn’t up to par with your worth.

The time given to us between when we set our goals and when we achieve them is a gift! During the meantime, you have opportunities to prepare yourself to reach your goals while exploring other things you love. Imagine if you got your dream job the second you wanted it. Would you have been prepared to do your job well? The same principle applies to relationships.

While you are waiting on God for your future spouse, you should be actively pursuing your life. This doesn’t mean that you try and forget your desires for marriage; instead, you aim to listen to what God wants from you in life, and strive after that.

When we become so engulfed by our desires that we lose sight of God’s plans for our lives, settling can occur. This is a problem, I think, that is becoming more and more common. People are defining themselves by their desire to be married that they look past the faults of the other person and end up settling for a relationship that doesn’t measure up to the standards set in God’s Word.

Don’t get me wrong, there is NO couple on the earth that can perfectly measure up to God’s standards, but there is a difference between failure and rejection. When a couple strives, but fails to reach God’s ideals, that is OK. They fail, like all of us in our personal walks with Christ, but they continue to try to honor God. When a couple realizes that they can never measure up and rejects any attempt to honor God in their lifestyles and relationship, that is NOT ok.

Your life doesn’t begin when you get married. If you’re in a relationship now, don’t be afraid to ask yourself if you’re settling. I urge you, even though you may think “this is the one,” to hold your relationship up to the light and see if it mirrors God’s goals for relationships. If you’re not in a relationship at all, DON’T SETTLE! Continue to seek God’s will for your life and bring your desires for marriage to Him. While waiting for your future spouse, be active in the opportunities (whether grand or small) laid out in your life.

Next week we will conclude this series with what being Actively Still means. We’ve touched on the concept that waiting is not passive and I’m excited to fully explain my thought process behind the title of this series.

Until next week,

Ariana